


Four A.M. in Chicago

by Mireille



Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-03
Updated: 2003-04-03
Packaged: 2018-08-15 20:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8072350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mireille/pseuds/Mireille
Summary: It's four a.m. in Chicago, but Ray's not there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Before someone corrects me, I know Fraser's not in his apartment during 3rd season, but Ray wouldn't know that.
> 
> Contains absolutely no Kowalski-bashing.

It's four a.m. in Chicago, Ray knows, because no matter how long he pretends to be Armando Langostini, no matter how long he's been in Vegas, Chicago is still the geographical center of the world.

Benny will be awake by now, he knows, because no matter how messy and awkward they left things between them before Benny went on his vacation up north and Ray went undercover, Benton Fraser is still the center of the universe, as far as Ray is concerned.

The streetlights would still be on, and traffic wouldn't have begun to pick up, not yet; and the drug dealers and hookers in Benny's neighborhood would still be out on the streets--lurking in doorways, scuttling down alleys, lounging against the walls of Benny's apartment building.

And Benny, already dressed in his crisp red uniform, would be out walking Diefenbaker. He knows the people on the street by name, and while he's put a few of them in jail, they all know that if they want a way out, the weird Mountie will help them get in rehab, and find jobs, and find someplace to live that isn't on the streets or in a vacant building. They don't bother him. Some of them even answer when he says "Good morning," or stop him so they can pet Dief.

The few nights Ray had spent at Benny's apartment, after a late stakeout or just because they'd spent too long talking, he never went on those walks. He'd mutter that he wanted to sleep, pulling a pillow over his head, and Benny would leave him alone. When he'd gone, though, Ray would usually get up and lean out the window, watching the street below for the moments when the red uniform would be visible in the glow of a streetlight. He'd lie back down again before Benny and Dief returned; he'd admitted so much to Benny over those two years, given him so much of himself, but he couldn't admit that it made him happy just to see him passing by on the street below.

Maybe he should have said something. Maybe things would have turned out differently if he had.

Better, possibly, though Ray didn't let himself hope for much. There wasn't room in Benny's heart for anyone but Victoria; Ray knew that. But still, if Benny had known, and not actually minded, that would have been all right.

Worse, possibly, only he wasn't sure how much worse than this things could really get. At least he might have been able to stay in Chicago, wouldn't have told himself that the best thing he could do for himself was to take the undercover assignment. Get himself away from Benny; give himself a chance to get the Mountie out of his system. At least he would have been home.

Benny, he was sure, was walking along those same streets now, and maybe someone else watched him from the window now; Welsh had said they'd bring someone in to pretend to be him, and if you were pretending to be Ray Vecchio, it'd make sense to be, or pretend to be, friends with Benny. (To be, or pretend to be--or pretend to be pretending not to be, which made Ray's head ache following his own logic--in love with Benny, but that wouldn't have been in the briefing the new guy got, Ray hoped.)

And it would be four forty-five in Chicago now, so Benny would be on his way back, as the early-morning delivery trucks started making their rounds, and traffic got a bit heavier as the city began gearing up for the morning rush hour. The streets would be the same, Benny would be the same, Dief would be the same--everything unchanged from what it had been six months ago.

Except that Ray was here, where it was only a quarter of three, and the streets were bright and gaudy with neon lights, and where he could look out his window all night, but Benny would never pass by.


End file.
